sorry i’m late, professor. im disenchanted with the human experience and waking up every morning thrusts me into an instant existential crisis
when she says she doesn’t send nudes
when guys objectify women and expect them to send nudes
when someone asks you about your nuclear plans for russia
When Russia sends you nudes
i don’t want to live in a world where i’m not allowed to enjoy both Shakespeare and Ke$ha.
Wake up in the mornin’ feel quite Hamlet-y
Grab my skull, I’m out the door, I’m gonna act real shitty
Before I leave, overthink if I’m on the right track
Cuz if I kill my uncle tonight, he ain’t comin back
Imagine if Sirius could have raised Harry and when he sent a howler to him in his second year for driving the car to school.
"I’M NOT EVEN MAD, I’M ACTUALLY IMPRESSED. MERLIN’S BLOODY BALLS I’M PROUD."
And Remus in the background “SIRIUS NO.”
please don’t ever try to get my attention by neglecting me because i will alienate myself from you at terminal velocity